Why I Hate Losing Weight – From a Skinny Guy’s Point of View

Ever since I started working out my goal has been to gain
weight, but to gain muscle in particular. What this meant was that I was on a
constant bulk if you can call it that. I was skinny especially during and after
puberty when I had my growth spurt, I went from being a short stocky kid to this
skinny kid with long limbs. Now you have to realize that I was not skinny for
lack of eating, I ate a whole lot more than any member of my family, I often
had two meals during super or I would eat again at night time when everyone was
asleep. I used to eat about 4-6 times a day even when I was skinny but I did
not gain any weight. My mother would often have to buy two loaves of bread
because I was hungry all the time and I could eat a whole loaf by myself. I was
relatively active because I used to ride my bike at least 3km a day and I
played soccer with my friends on most days. I also used to do bodyweight
exercises to get stronger and to try and gain a little muscle.

Why I hate losing weight
Why I hate losing weight
These two pics are about a year apart, even though I look and feel bigger  on the left I am  around the same weight (a little bigger) on the right.

Joining Gym to get
bigger not smaller

When I joined the gym in 2011 I wanted to get bigger, not to
lose weight, if I lost weight all that would be left would be my skeleton. Even
though I wanted to gain weight for non-bodybuilding
, there was always a part of me that always wanted to be bigger. I
never liked being skinny, but I often ignored it during my high school days
because most of the guys there were either skinny like me or worse off or they
were just fat. There were a few guys who went to the gym but it was not a
common thing at my high school I probably knew only 2 built guys and the rest
were just their friends who went to the gym but still had normal bodies
probably because of bad diets, poor training technique and inconsistent

Lifting weights was
the boost I needed

When I started lifting weights at university I started
gaining weight almost effortlessly. It was as if my body had been waiting for
me to start lifting since puberty. I enjoyed gaining weight, it seemed to be
more muscle than fat throughout the whole process even though I know there was
also some fat gain but I did not care because I was no longer that skinny kid. I
loved the gains, I liked feeling bigger, I never wanted to be skinny ever
again, and I wanted to be a beast. I had always had visible abs throughout the
whole transformation, even when it seemed and felt as though I was getting fat
on other days. I would take a pic and my abs would not be very visible but you
could tell they were there, then the very next day I would wake up and they
would be clearly visible. I could not explain this, but maybe it was because of
the amount of simple carbs I was eating which caused a lot of water retentionand a bloated feeling. I continued to bulk and gain mass, the more often I
trained the better the results.

Deciding to cut to
lose weight (fat)

I always wanted to have that lean muscular look the whole
year round, so I figured I would eat and gym my way into a beast  but I realised that when I went past
80kg(176lbs), I still did not have the look I was looking for. I compared
myself to other guys who are around my height with my gaol physique and they
somehow looked bigger even though I weighed more. I decided I needed to cut to
see the body I have now when ripped, this would mean I lose some weight but it
would give me a clear idea of where I need to improve to get my goal physique.
Once I reach this lean and super ripped level, I will then slow bulk my way up
cleaner than I did before.

The part I hate
about losing Weight

Although losing some weight was necessary after evaluating
my goals and current physique, I did not like the idea of cutting, I was on a
mission to gain weight not lose it and now I
am cutting
. I hate the very idea of losing weight. Being a guy who has
always been skinny, I feel tiny whenever I take a pic and I am leaner than the
previous progress pic. I am looking at the bigger picture, the end of the
tunnel right now so that is what I tell myself whenever I am feeling tiny. I
want to get shredded right now and build and incredible core then build on
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